The One with the Result - 24/10/2013

Hubby was not able to attend the appointment and I went to UKMSC with my niece. I have already taken 2 days leave just to prepare for any result! We reached the clinic around 12.30pm and I was no 12 on the list already. The clinic started at 4pm.

Sakit pinggang started that nite and it was persistant up to the appointment day. Selalunya bila banyak jalan sakit pinggang and if I baring sekejap dia akan hilang. But this time, terus-terusan sakit. I was so stressed out and could feel that my babies would not stick around. I did not say anything to my niece, I kept quite and prayed hard... After lunch, we went to the Ibnu Sina surau and stayed there until 5.00pm. 

We went to UKMSC and waited ant the waiting lounge. I went to the toilet and...... there was stain on my pantyliner, it was 5.26pm. I went back to the waiting lounge and trying hard to hold my tears. I whatsssup Hubby what was happening, then he called, I said I could not talk and told him I would call later. I texted again, 

Me:  Sorry, tak leh cakap takut nangis..

Hubby: Sedihnya berlinang airmata Abg..

Hubby: Abg nangis...

During the whole time I was trying very hard to control my tears... I was called at around 7pm and by then the stain had become much more as I went to the toilet again. I managed not to cry when Prof asked, how r u?... I told prof that I had just got stain around 5.30pm just now. He was quite surprised and said it was already 4 weeks after the transfer.. He asked the routine questions and insist on blood test. He could not find anything during the ultrasound.. By then, I was sure that I failed again, but Prof still want me to wait for the blood test.

I was to continue with the medication until the blood test result came out. During the whole time I was controlling my tears and did not say a word to my niece. My niece, Macamana Cik Ngah? I said, Berita kurang baik, kena buat blood test to confirm...'. During the journey back home, airmata dah tergenang but still tak menitis... Cik Ngah nak dinner apa?, my niece asked. Tak per, Cik Ngah mkn roti ajer.. 

Sebenarnya I was just wanna got home to cry. So I asked them to sent me home and they can proceed to dinner. Sampai rumah, masuk bilik and I cried. But not crying out loud as I expected, crying softly!!! I stayed in the room and only came out to get something to drink and eat. Hari sabtu baru keluar dari bilik! My niece understood that I need to be alone so she just let me be... Thank you dear... Selama perintah berkurung tu FRIENDS the series menjadi peneman!

Hubby yang call for the blood test result tu, and it was negative as I expected.. On Saturday, I went out to fetch my car that Hubby parked at the office, went to IOI and get my haircut, hair treatment, pedicure and manicure....

Up till now, my period still coming, but sikit-sikit macam biasa and my boobs still hurt sometimes. Sakit pinggang sangat, however Panadol Menstrual dah cukup utk penahan sakit. Still waiting for it to come out... belum lagi ada ketul2 keluar....

That was the end of my FET.... 

I am trying very hard to absorb this fate as the best thing for me.... Allah knows best....

Alhamdulillah...... 

The One with another 2WW

Pesan Nurse, doa banyak2...jaga diri!!!

My 2WW was spent at my sister's house and I was in good hand and well cared for. Alhamdulillah. Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart my dear Sis R. MC was until 4th Oct, and I continued with annual leave for another 2 weeks including the Raya Haji..

Before we were leaving the MAC, the nurse, who was looking at the report said to me, Alhamdulillah, baby2 akak kuat lah, survived freezing and thawing. Still maintain grade 1 after thawing.. I smiled and said Alhamdulillah. Now balik, rajin makan ubat, rehat dan doa banyak2.... InsyaAllah....We left the clinic with happy feeling.....

I keep on reciting the prescribed surah religiously, praying that the 'gangguan' would not interfere with my pregnancy. Pagar diri with ayat kursi, 3 kul before tidur. However, it still came in the form of mimpi.. But I sort of felt that it was coming, susah nak tidur selalunya. During my 2WW, it came 3 times and result in uterus contraction. The first time was very, very painful that I vomited. 2nd time was mild as I was able to wake myself up before it got thru, so as the 3rd... I felt helpless... I started to feel that my boobs sakit, nak tidur pun kena hati-hati sebab sakit, but the pain quickly hilang after the first attack. However, 1 kept praying that the embies will stick despite the 'gangguan'. .

Ya Allah, Rahmatilah dan Berkatilah usaha
kami ini dengan kesudahan yang baik

On October 15th, I started cramping like my period was coming... Lasted almost 24 hours... I was sure the P was coming and well, I could not stop crying. I prayed hard.... And I survived 3 weeks! No bleeding what so ever. I started working in week 4. I was showing all the right symptoms; dizzy, my boobs swelled and hurt sometimes and I ate a lot!!! I was telling my friends that these time was different, I had cramping and dizziness. Kadang2 rasa mcm mabuk laut tu...

From not very confident, I became confident that it work, that I was definitely pregnant.. and according to the IVF calculator, I was supposed to be in my 7th week pregnancy on 24th Oct, the doc's appointment. Medications during the 2WW includes;

1 tablet 3 times daily

Injection Mon, Thurs for 2 weeks 

1 capsule 3 times daily, vaginally

I also took Brazil Nuts and Selenium to support the implantation... Tomorrow is the day, the doc's appointment.                                                                                                                

The One with the FET

I have another 3 embies in the freezer.. Remember?

So, let's start with the first appointment, we went to see Prof on the scheduled appointment 5th Sept 2013. . Looking thru my last IVF report, Prof noticed that, it was a difficult transfer process and hence he said that I need to do a procedure called Vaginal Dilatation. I was scheduled to have the procedure on 11th Sep, very close to my period date! We we given the admission letter as well as the blue form and I was to take Progynova on my CD2.

Cik P came on 10th Sep, I called MAC to ask whether I could proceed with the procedure and yes, the procedure was to proceed as plan... Boleh imagine tak?? he he he.. must be messy kan? 

So on the day, we went to MAC and got the procedure done and I took my first dose of the Progynova on that day. I was on sedation and did not know how messy was the procedure with my period and all.... he he he. Scanning scheduled on 17th Sep and alternate day after that. On second canning I was to increase the Progynova.

I was on pain for the whole folicullar tracking period. Cyst was already detected during first scanning.. sigh....!!!  Arcoxia was not allowed and Prof had asked me to take just Panadol Actifast. The pain was quite severe! The Progynova was the culprit! On the 3rd scaning day, my ET was ready = 10.1mm. So I was scheduled to have my FET on 26th September 2013.

I was in a very emotional state thru the week, waiting fot the transfer. Tak tahu kenapa, sensitive and very fragile. Rasa macam dah sedia, tapi tiba-tiba felt helpless and not ready. Tak tahu macamana nak describe the feeling. Airmata senang jer jatuh, nangis ok then nangis balik...What if the embies did not survived?...  So what is next?.. My uterus is not as healthy as it should be. The endo has emerged again... bla.. blaa... Arghhhhh! Hubby then said, kita hanya mampu berusaha, Allah yg akan menentukan. Buat apa pikir semua tu, bukan kuasa kita.... hemmm yer lah. Betul ler tu... Sighh....

We did discuss to also do alternative treatment alongside the IVF and decided to go back to Pusat Rawatan Islam Al Hidayah. We registered and got an appointment on 20th Sep. Pernah mendapat rawatan dengan Haji Lokman dulu. We were diagnosed of having gangguan... Well, we went for the treatment and again was diagnosed of having ganguan, both of us. Bila perawat tu merawatku, I started crying and coughing macam nak muntah. Scan Hubby pun ada gangguan. Tapi dia relax jer... I was prescribed Surah Taha ayat 60-82 utk baca lepas solat Maghrib/Isyak and Surah A-Zumar ayat 59-75 utk di baca lepas solat Subuh/Zohor/Asar. Hubby punya tak ingat.. tapi salah satu sama iaitu yg surah Taha tu... We started right away the routine of reciting the surahs and doa.

Then the day came, bertolak we all ker MAC dgn motor, sbb Hubby lewat, again!!! Sabar jer lah... Nasib baik Prof lambat sebab ada meeting. Alhamdulillah all embies survived the thawing process and however only two were transferred as one of them seem weird looking! One of 5 cells and the other one of 6 cells that were transferred, a clean and easy process. Alhamdulillah. And Hubby got to see the embies before they were transferred. 

Hubby got me on a taxi and we went home separate ways!!! I spend my 2WW at my sister's house. Mak datang 3 hari lepas tu...

Next entry... 2WW...